It's just weather, is what I try to remember. Only to spare my poor heart if it doesn't last.
But truly the sun has stirred something in my bones. My stagnant self is awakening, I can breathe again.
What I mean to say is the promise of spring gives me energy like I haven't had since September and it feels excellent.
Every year when the earth thaws I feel a release, like snakes uncoiling after months of slowly constricting my chest. I know I'm not alone in this. And even though it comes and goes every year, spring always manages to be a lovely surprise. We've forgotten how kind the elements can be.
Winds that kiss instead of bite. Sunshine that is golden instead of harsh. FLOWERS.
I may be getting ahead of myself here but isn't that what this time of year is for? Beginnings, excitement, starting anew, looking ahead.
My mind has been all over the place this week, which seems justified now that I think about it. This week my self care has looked like:
- listening to The Paper Kites - Woodland Album
- Running in shorts (oh so grateful) and soaking in the good energy of my teammates // letting my thoughts wander
- Drinking warm, healing drinks
- Practicing non-attachment with my belongings
- Honoring my tired days and motivated days equally
- Checking myself (supplementary to checking in with myself). Why am I feeling this? Is it necessary? Can I do anything to change it? Will saying _________ help anybody or is it superfluous/rude?
- Reminding myself that busyness does not have to = stress
"If the pen
can be mightier than the sword
so must the tree be mightier
than the axe
and I, more resilient that the words
I spit at my tender self.
My hands are stained with ink,
that is no different than blood, really."